


Baffling

by deadinderry



Category: Guns N' Roses
Genre: because why have a plot when you can have an inner monologue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 13:44:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20967530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadinderry/pseuds/deadinderry
Summary: Izzy feels bad.





	Baffling

**Author's Note:**

> semi-inspired by bits of steven adler's memoir + the interview izzy gave talking abt how changing drummers changed the sound + takes place like, immediately after steven was kicked out

Izzy feels bad.

Thing was, he knew that shit was getting bad. But he also knows that Steven’s not the only junky in the band (Izzy is, in fact, _one of the other fucking junkies in the band)_, and he knows that, probably, the only reason Steven’s the one who got the boot is because of his clashes with Axl. Because Axl sometimes needs kid gloves and Steven is kind of incapable of that. And the kid did—he wasn’t doing a good job when they were trying to record “Civil War.” Izzy doesn’t know if he really was sick like he kept saying or if he was high as balls. Izzy doesn’t _know_.

All he knows is that he _feels bad. _

Izzy’s not as free with affection as Steven is. Even as free with affection as someone like Duff is. He tries to be honest and he tries to keep to himself, because that’s just how he prefers to live his life. He just prefers to be left alone most of the time. And so, you would _think_, if he, say, saw Steven, shivering and looking like _absolute shit_ in a convenience store pawing through snack cakes, he would just turn around and leave.

Turn around, leave, pretend it never happened.

But he has zero clue how much cash Steven has. They screwed him over, sort of, when it came to royalties and stuff in that they’re really trying to not give him any. Which is probably bullshit. He’s met the new drummer by now and like, he’s _good _and all, but he doesn’t have the same feel. Steven’s drumming (alongside Duff, obviously) laid down a base for them to follow. And Steven’s drumming was fucking rock'n'roll. Say what you want about Steven Adler, but the boy can drum.

Izzy hesitates so long that he doesn’t get to make the choice, because Steven looks up and meets his eyes. His face brightens almost immediately, and then, man, it’s like you can _see _his brain fighting it out. Izzy’s not a mind-reader, but he’s pretty sure Steven’s thinking something along the lines of “_That’s Izzy does he want to say hi would he be all right with me if I said hi I’m gonna go say hi probably” _and then Steven is beside him.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hey,” Izzy says. “You doing all right?”

“Been better.”

Izzy winces. “Yeah,” he says. He shakes his head. “Yeah. We—I mean—don’t tell anyone I told you this, but you’re a way fucking better drummer than the new guy.”

Steven beams. It’s that million dollar smile, the one where he shows all of his teeth, and Izzy has to look away so he doesn’t beam right back at him or explode, whichever comes first. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Izzy says. He clears his throat. “I—seriously, if you—I know you’re trying to—the royalty thing, it wasn’t my idea. And if it’s an emergency—like, a real emergency, not like you forgot how to make fucking spaghetti or something—you can—you can call me. If you need to.”

Steven nods. He looks a little out of it. A little, ‘I don’t know what Izzy’s really saying right now’, and Izzy wonders how high he is.

“Only in an emergency,” Izzy said. “Not just if you’re lonely.”

“Sometimes that’s an emergency.”

“Okay, if you’re lonely and you think you’re gonna kill yourself.”

Steven shrugs. Izzy doesn’t want to think about Steven trying to kill himself. He _knows _that the dude’s had kind of a—well, a weird kind of life. What he’s gleaned from Slash and little snippets that Steven just _drops _like they’re nothing is that Steven’s been kicked out of or dropped by or abandoned by pretty much every family he comes across because he’s pretty out-of-control. But the thing is—Steven’s always just been so _nice. _It’s fucking baffling. He’s not like Duff, who ends up being shoehorned into a mother hen just because he happens to be the most responsible and stable one out of all of them. Slash is a good guy and a kickass guitarist and kind of shy sometimes. Axl is… he has his moments. Izzy has known Axl for a long time, and he _knows _that Axl does stupid shit all of the time. But he also knows that Axl’s got a heart. Izzy, at least as far as he can look into himself, thinks he probably comes off as a bitch a lot of the time.

But Steven is just _nice. _Steven seems to _actually genuinely fucking like literally everyone_; Izzy never gets the feeling from him that he’s faking it or that he’s putting someone on for fun. He just likes people. He just sees the best in people. And Izzy doesn’t know how.

But he figures that being that kind of person plus being abandoned by your new family of four other fucked up young guys might make you suicidal.

“Don’t fucking kill yourself. I’ll buy your snacks.”


End file.
